True Blood, Season 5, Ep 9: Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Lafayette is in Sookie’s bathroom trying to identify the creepy vampire spirit who says he’s coming to get her. Lafayette cannot make a connection to the undead but he still wants to get paid for his services. As they sit on Sookie’s bed chatting, Lafayette starts to feel something weird. He hears the voices of ghosts and speaks directly to Sookie’s grandmother. She tells Sookie that she is sleeping on top of the information she needs.

Salome’s plan to get rid of the vampire mainstreamers is in full force as the first of five True Blood factories burns to the ground. The Sanguanistas, including Eric and Bill, intensely watch the newscast and then they celebrate by feasting on a live human served up like a thanksgiving turkey.

Jessica is tired of telling the police over and over that Hoyt is not a vampire hater – he really loves her and he was not trying to hurt her. She can no longer feel his presence and she’s afraid he’s dead. That’s when we see an unconscious Hoyt being dragged across the ground toward a barn.

Luna is no longer turning into Sam and she’s feeling back in control. Even though she is weak, Luna insists on going with Sam to look for the men who shot them. Sam is annoyed at her stubbornness, he gets angry with her and then tells her he loves her. She grudgingly admits she loves him too. She still insists on going with him though.

Sookie and Lafayette are looking through the box of memorabilia that was under Sookie’s bed unable to ascertain what her grandmother was trying to tell her. Lafayette notices that Jason’s sixth grade teacher was Lynn Dearborn, the old sheriff’s wife. Sookie notices that Sheriff Dearborn was the one who discovered her parent’s bodies. Sookie decides that her grandmother wants her to talk to the Sheriff.

Sookie visits Bud Dearborn asking him if he noticed anything unusual about her parent’s death. He tells her that he saw the bite marks but did not know about vampires at the time so they assumed alligators had gotten to the body. She reads his mind as he talks and hears that he is hiding something from her. She grabs his hand to hear him more clearly and realizes he does not know anything after all. That’s when his girlfriend knocks her on the head with a frying pan.

Jason and Andy are looking for clues to the identities of the hate mongers when they realize that Sheriff Dearborn arrested two of them in the past. Reviewing the youtube video of a vampire death posted by the killers, Andy finally realizes that Bud is the dragon because of his distinctive boots. Sam and Luna hear it all as flies on the wall.

Sookie wakes up the sound of pigs squealing and realizes her hands are tied. Hoyt is tied up in the next stall, drugged and unconscious. Bud tries to explain to Sookie why he is doing this. His new girlfriend, Sweetie, arrives and tells him to just drug Sookie but he is not happy about it.

Sookie asks Sweetie why she has so much hate and reads her mind to find that Sweetie’s husband left her for a shifter. Bud tells Sookie that Sweetie is the Dragon and the love of his life as he pours the drug into her. Andy and Jason arrive at Bud’s house to arrest him but he is gone. Jason remembers that Bud’s wife’s family owned a pig farm.

Arlene is trying to open Merlotte’s when Patrick slips up holds a gun to her head. Patrick calls Terry, telling him to come to the bar with his hands up. Terry sees he has Arlene, he says they should fight it out but Patrick is not interested, he knows he will lose to Terry. Patrick is about to shoot Terry when Arlene stabs him in the neck with a pencil and she gets the gun. Now the tables have turned.

Terry is having real trouble killing Patrick until the ghost of the Iraqui woman he killed tells him to do what is right. He proceeds to shoot Patrick and she releases the Ifrit to take Patrick’s body. The curse is over.

The hate mongers are recording the impending deaths of Hoyt and Sookie as they invite the pigs in for their dinner. That’s when Sam, who has been hiding as a pig, changes back to fight them. Andy and Jason arrive just as the fight is getting good and Andy ends up having to shoot Bud. Sweetie is on the run but Luna catches her in no time and she gets some “sweet” revenge.

Russell is letting JD, the new pack leader, and his wolves drink from him when he sees Martha off to the side holding Emma in puppy form. When she refuses to drink his vampire blood, Russell takes Emma and gives her to Steve as a pet. The pack knows now that Russell is in charge.

Eric and Bill’s plan to escape the other vampires is going well – or so Eric thought until Bill betrays him at the last moment. Telling Eric it is all for his own good, the guards take him away. Bill and Salome exchange a knowing look, it appears they are the real deal.