True Blood, Season 5, Ep 5: Let’s Boot and Rally

Sookie and Alcide are going at it hot and heavy on the couch when he carries her upstairs to continue the lovin’ in the bedroom.  He tells her he has waited so long for this but unfortunately for him, the moment is gone when Sookie throws up on his shoes.  Eric, lounging in the doorway, comments, “you sure know how to treat a lady” as he and Bill smirk at the two of them.

Lafayette is totally freaked out by the demon inhabiting him.  He looks in the mirror and sees the bruja looking back.  He calls to Jesus to please give him a sign, please give him some help.  Later, when Lafayette wakes up, it’s to see Jesus’ head on the table with the mouth sewn shut.  If that’s what you get when you ask your dead friends for help, I think I’ll pass.  Lafayette’s mother wakes up to the same thing – head on bedside table, mouth sewn shut – but she appears to understand what Jesus is mumbling and she starts screaming Lafayette’s name.

Arlene walks in on Andy sleeping nude on the sofa.  He seems to be doing a lot of that lately – showing off that cute bubble butt.  Apparently both he and Jason ended up nude at home after they were kicked out of the fairy nightclub.  Neither knows how they got there.

Bill and Eric are trying to convince Sookie to help them find Russell.  She’s wavering and unsure which leads to an argument between the vampires and the werewolf.  Sookie covers her head in pain and gets a bit hysterical but the end result is that she will help them out.  Was there every any doubt?

Alcide’s employee Doug was involved with Russell’s retrieval but he was glamoured by the vampire who masterminded Russell’s escape so he cannot remember.  That’s why Bill and Eric sought out Sookie, they want her to use her mind reading skills to find out what Doug knows.

When Sookie reads Doug’s mind, she sees a woman digging Russell up with her hands.  She sees a necklace but she can’t see the vampire’s face.  Bill thinks it’s Nora but Eric says no.  Salome wears a similar necklace – it’s the symbol of the Vampire Authority.

Out in South Dakota, Terry and Patrick are jumped by their former Army comrade, Eller, who ties them to chairs down in the basement.  He tells them about the fire monster, the Ifrit, that he saw kill others from their unit.  Terry starts to mentally fall apart as he remembers that he is the one who killed the woman who cursed them with the Ifrit.

Jessica is trying to have a bonding moment with Tara.  It looks like its working as Jessica tells Tara that it’s great to be a vampire – that the feelings you have are awesome, not something to be ashamed of.  Ahh, how delightful, two girls just chatting away about drinking humans.

Sookie’s mind-reading takes them to an abandoned asylum (of course – what did you expect, a two bedroom ranch for the vampire king?) where they enter to locate Russell.  Doug is terrified as he and Sookie make their way through the hospital.  They come upon a pile of dismembered bodies that are being fed on by rats.  Leave it to Eric to remark that they are in the right place.

Andy and Jason are investigating the deaths of Sam’s shifter friends.  Jason finds wooden bullets embedded in a tree at the scene causing him to speculate that the killers are after vampires as well as shifters – their prey is all supernatural beings.

Tara is outside catching a smoke when Hoyt walks by.  She calls him over and he offers his neck to her.  He’s pissed that she won’t partake of his blood and he stomps away.  She looks after him speculatively – perhaps he will be her vampire snack after all…

Terry screams at Eller that they have got to get out of there.  The Ifrit has been waiting to get them all together.  Eller is convinced by Terry’s fear and he cuts them loose.  Only Patrick still thinks it’s all a madman’s fantasy and he hits Eller and ties him up.  They leave him in the basement and Eller comes to just as the Ifrit approaches him, all black smoke and hot coals, and burns him to death.

Back at the asylum, Doug can no longer  take the pressure and he bolts away from the group, just wanting to get out of there.  Sookie runs after him and they end up in a room where people are hanging from hooks in the ceiling.  Apparently they have found the storage locker for Russell’s next meal.

Sam goes to Luna to tell her about the death of the other shifters.  She’s grateful that he came to tell her but she still wants him to leave.  He walks out to his car only to get shot by a bunch of rednecks in masks.  Luna runs out to help him and she gets shot too.  When Emma comes out, they start shooting at her but she quickly turns into a wolf puppy and runs away.

Tara is biting Hoyt in one bathroom stall while Jessica is feeding off a girl in the adjacent stall.  Jessica hears Hoyt say something to Tara and she rips the door off and throws Tara back.  They start fighting over Hoyt.  It’s a girl fight at vampire speed.

The A-team approaches Russell and he immediately sniffs out Sookie.  He looks better than he did before – not so Darth Maul-ish.  Eric is about to kill him when there’s a commotion behind them and everyone turns around and this episode abruptly ends.  Looks like the team is about to be ambushed, I’m not surprised Russell had a few tricks up his sleeve.  After all, he was a vampire king…