Archive for True Blood Episodes
Top 10 Best Moments (okay, maybe 11) in Episode 3 of True Blood
1. The King of Mississippi rolling Lorena in a Celtic tapestry from the 1500’s to douse the fire consuming her when Bill threw an oil lamp on her. His consort is quite upset at the damage to the tapestry while Lorena looks on from a blackened, peeling, smoking face.
2. Sam’s Dad sitting on the sofa in his gray baggy underwear watching TV when Sam stops by to say goodbye. That’s one nasty pair of underpants. You know, a 3-pack of tighty whities at Walmart is $9. That’s as much as a 12-pack of beer and he seems to be able to afford that.
3. Pam getting busy with some dancer at Fangtasia in some girl-on-girl action when Jessica calls her about her missing body. Pam looked quite annoyed at the interruption but she goes right back at it when she hangs up the phone.
4. Jason studying for the police test – Hoyt says he’s 0 for 22 in correct answers. He says the legal limit for driving drunk is….when you’re drunk. He’ll make a great police officer.
5. Jason has the classic test-taking anxiety dream. He dreams that time has run out and he can’t read the exam, it’s all in hieroglyphics. Next you see him standing at the front of the room with no pants on – quite a nice butt shot – as he tries to turn in his test to the sheriff who has a bullet hold in his forehead.
6. Alcide the werewolf shows up – holy moly – he is hot! Eric sent him to take Sookie to Jackson. Did I mention how hot he is? When is he going to run around naked like everyone else has?
7. Bud the sheriff quits after seeing the latest dead body in Bon Temps. It’s a headless body that Hoyt discovered during his road work. He says he is sick of this horseshit – to many dead bodies, every time they solve one murder, two more show up and it’s causing gaps in his brain and polyps in his ass. Bud is done. I’ll miss him.
8. Arlene finds out that the baby in her belly is about 9 weeks old. She tries to tell Terry but he thinks she is breaking up with him. Terry says ‘if I had a nickel for every time a woman broke up with me, I’d have 15 cents’. I love Terry, what a sweetie. My question is – who is the father of this baby?
9. Jessica answers a knock at the door – it’s Franklin – and she challenges him with a ‘fang flash’ to warn him off to which he flashes right back, walking on in with no invite. Franklin says he finds things and isn’t she looking for something? At which point he proceeds to pull out the head of the guy she killed for dinner some time ago. He helps her – he disposed of her decaying body problem, and she helps him – tell him everything there is to know about Bill Compton. Bill can’t catch a break . . .
10. Franklin shows up at Sookie’s house looking for Tara, he tries to get her to let him in and she’s like – hell no! Smart girl. But, then he puts some whammy on her and she invites him in. Must be that English accent – no American girl can resist an English accent. It gets us in trouble every time . . .
And the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen on a TV show – Lorena goes up to see Bill now that he has sworn loyalty to the king of Mississippi. It’s obvious how much he hates her. She begs him to make love to her – he yells no but then proceeds to rip her clothes off. They start having some pretty rough sex and then:
Bill decides he can’t stand looking at Lorena so he TWISTS HER HEAD ALL THE WAY AROUND so she’s facing backward as he continues having sex with her!
How very “Exorcist” of the writers . . . it’s going to be hard to get that image out of my head.
The second episode of True Blood, ‘Beautifully Broken’, begins with Bill Compton ripping body parts off werewolves like there is no tomorrow. Some guy rides up on a white horse and calls them all off. Bill calls him ‘your majesty’ and this guy is quite angry that his werewolves were draining Bill after they kidnapped him. Bill gets a good laugh that the lead werewolf’s name is Cooter. Bill and the king ride off, leaving werewolf parts scattered all over the ground.
Sookie goes to see Eric, asking for info about the Nazi werewolves who took Bill. She opens her heart, starting to cry in front of Eric and he asks her to stop that – she’s making him feel human. He lets her leave, staring after her as he flashes back to Germany in 1945. A soldier is attacked by a werewolf and Eric and Godric kill it. So, it looks like Eric is not in league with any werewolves.
Pam and Jessica share a little girl time as Jessica tries to find out how to feed without killing the person. Jessica is having a hard time figuring out how to get rid of the smelly body from her meal of several days before. When she brings home a chainsaw to cut him up, the body’s gone. Did it come back from the dead after all?
Lafayette saves Tara from her suicide attempt and the two of them are closer than ever before. A vampire comes into Merlotte’s, talking to Tara as she gets him a bottle of True Blood. Tara punches out two rednecks who are defacing the spot where Eggs’ was killed. The new vampire grabs them and lets Tara pound away on one of them, giving him just what he deserves.
Bill is taken to a beautiful mansion and being treated like an honored guest. The king and his consort take Bill to his room acting like he’s a guest when he’s really a prisoner. They are at dinner where the king says that he wants to make Bill a sheriff. The king’s consort leaves the table to ‘drain’ the second course. That’s when we find out the king plans to marry the queen of Louisiana. The king is surprised the queen allowed Bill to go to Bon Temps, a small backwater town in the middle of nowhere. Bill says he has no interest in being their sheriff and that’s when the king threatens Sookie just as Lorena walks in. Bill throws an oil lamp and sets her on fire. Unfortunately, I doubt that he killed her.
Sam sits outside a house in his car, waking up to a gun barrel aimed at his head. A young man takes him into their house, where he meets his mother. He finds out that she was sixteen when she gave him away to the Merlotte family. Sam tries to bond with his brother but he’s a sullen grouch who isn’t interested in being friends. But, it’s quite nice as the two of them start to strip, saying they need a run. Sam’s brother is covered in scars and you understand why when he transforms into a pit bull.
Terry makes a list of the 10 reasons Arlene can trust him with her kids. It’s to sweet and hilarious. He thinks Arlene is mad at him, he does not realize she’s pregnant. As she races back into the bathroom to throw up once more, Terry continues to yell his list of items through the door at her, saying “I never killed anything by accident”.
Sookie sees a werewolf outside Merlotte’s and she and Terry go into commando hunt mode. They chase the man down only to find he has turned into a wolf and disappeared. They take his clothes into the bar and Terry gives her a gun, asking her if she knows how to use it, to which she replies, “I ain’t that blond”.
Eric arrives on Sookie’s doorstep, telling her that he lied to her about knowing nothing about the werewolves. There’s another flashback to Nazi Germany as Eric interrogates the werewolf in the past, finding out from it that the head werewolf is a vampire. Eric tells Sookie this story, saying that these are not ordinary werewolves, they are fueled by vampire blood. He tells her that she is going to have to invite him in, so he can watch over her ….or have hot primal sex with her….or both. Yikes! Invite that man in! But, Sookie refuses to invite him in and next you see that he senses something is wrong so he forces her invitation just as a werewolf attacks. Now Eric can come and go in Sookie’s house as he wants, I’m sure Bill won’t like that when he gets back.
Finally, True Blood has restarted. And ‘Pack of Wolves’ is a wild ride. Last season ended with Bill disappearing and this season starts out with Sookie frantically searching for him. Jason is drowning his sorrows with a beer since he killed Tara’s boyfriend, Eggs, and Andy took the credit for it. Jessica drags a body in for dinner – remember, she keeps getting her virginity back after every time she has sex, that’s a fate worse than death. And, Bill is shown being driven away, a silver chain around his neck. That’s not good.
The police blow off Sookie’s concern about Bill, they won’t take it seriously – there’s obviously some vampire prejudice going on here. Arlene tries to show Tara that she cares about her and that goes wrong when Tara freaks out – screaming at Arlene, who answers her screams with a great line – ‘who here hasn’t fallen in love with a serial killer’? Quite true since Arlene was in love with the serial killer from season one.
Jessica has killed her ‘dinner’, she appears to have a little control problem. She tries to give him her blood and bring him back but I don’t think it works that way. And it doesn’t, people notice the smell which gets attributed to a dead possum under the porch.
Bill is being eaten ‘alive’by his kidnappers, they’re all drinking him for the ‘V’ rush. It’s really gross. Looks like he’s just about to really die this time.
Andy sneaks in to see Jason, telling him that he has to stick to their story – they have to act like everything is perfectly normal and that Andy killed Eggs, not Jason. Jason has got to be his usual self – conscience off, dick on – Andy makes Jason repeat it several times. Hilarious. I can imagine quite a few men for whom this is their mantra.
Sookie is in Fangtasia, looking for help from Eric to find Bill. Pam half-heartedly tries to stop her when she demands to see him and she busts in on Eric while he is going at it with the new dancer. Wow! He’s got her tied up, hanging from the ceiling while he does his thing. Sookie handles it quite well, maintaining eye contact and not looking down. Eric walks up to her and he stands there naked while she accuses him of kidnapping Bill. He says it wasn’t him, he’s been screwing for the last six hours. Sookie looks shocked, and that gives Eric the chance to make a nasty comment about Bill’s stamina. Thank goodness this scene is on my DVR! Since he’s the sheriff, he is duty bound to help her find Bill – or so he says….
Flash back to Bill and the ‘drainers’ as he pops one’s neck, wrecking the car and getting away. Good, those guys needed to die. It comes out that Eric had wanted Bill taken since Bill can link the Queen to the dealing of vampire blood. Pam says Eric is starting to lose it, why would he get in this nasty business anyway?
Bill comes to Sam for help, standing shirtless on the doorstop. There is certainly some nice male flesh on view this season when Bill asks if he can get into the shower and borrow Sam’s shirt. Bill asks him to join him in the shower. The water in Arkansas is ‘very hard’. Yikes! They are about to kiss when Sam wakes up from a ‘dream’. Wow, I wonder where this is going to go this season. Bill and Sam are attracted to each other?
Tara is just running around screaming at everybody in her grief over Eggs’ death. Tara’s mother shows up at Lafayette’s house and she starts her usual whining, promising to take care of her ‘baby’. Yeah, she’s done such a good job to date. I imagine this lady might get the worst mother of the year award. The reverend comes over, talking to Tara, saying Eggs was a demon who led her astray and she starts to finally relax. Or so you think.
The police are still blowing off the search for Bill. Sookie thinks it’s Lorena but they don’t care. They aren’t going to waste their time and money looking into ‘vampire-nappings’. A new phrase…
Bill emerges from the dirt, looking angry and feral. Jessica is still sleeping under the house with her dead friend, her attempt to make him into a vampire is not working. Hoyt wants to reconnect with her but she is to freaked out by her dead body to talk with him. You would think a dead body would not bother a vampire so much.
Jason tries to hook Hoyt up with a couple of women he’s picked up at Merlotte’s. One of them is studying to be a dog psychologist. Jason wants to know what kind of dog he is…he says, ‘what am I thinking of right now, you know, in my brain’…you gotta love Jason.
Pam shows up at Sookie’s house, commenting on the lovely decorating job that the maenid did on her house since it is so trashed inside. Pam gives her Eric’s check with a nice hefty bonus for her work in Dallas last season.
Bill ends up at some old lady’s house, and when she lets him in, his teeth come out and he jumps her. Most excitement she’s seen in years I suspect. Bill chows down on the old lady – he looks better already. Although I’m not sure how much nutrition he got from her, she looks to be at least ninety. He erases her memory of his visit and leaves her some money. Bill discovers he’s in Mississippi, and you keep hearing wolves howling in the background. Have the werewolves settled in Mississippi?
The Reverend lets Tara’s mom hug him as he gets ready to leave and she gets a little to cozy, rubbing up on him – gross. Tara goes to get in the shower after her hours of being prayed over and her momma says, ‘let it all wash away baby’. Then you see Tara in the bathroom popping pills like there’s no tomorrow – and I guess there won’t be tomorrow for her. I knew her mother would screw this up.
Sam is looking for his parents, asking a local mechanic if he knows the Milkins. The kid says no but Sam knows he is lying. Sam follows the mechanic named Tommy back to his house and he pulls their mail out, confirming that it is the Milkins address. Doesn’t he know that going into someone else’s mail box is a federal crime?
Jason is trying to have a sex party with his Merlott’e s pickup girls and he can’t quite seem to get into it. He’s in bed with both girls, but he keeps seeing bullet holes in their foreheads. Jason unable to have sex? What will the girls in Louisiana do?
This episode ends with Bill racing through the woods when he is suddenly surrounded by a bunch of wolves and the show ends with his final words…”I should warn you, I’ve fed”… and he goes on the attack. An excellent start to the new season.
